


Sleepless Nights and White Lies

by ThreeKnivesInAWineGlass



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, Celebrity AU, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, We all know how this ends, at least for The8, but still a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 11:36:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18010205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeKnivesInAWineGlass/pseuds/ThreeKnivesInAWineGlass
Summary: The singer doesn’t pick the secretary in the movies, and childhood friends stop being suitable love interests when they grow up.





	Sleepless Nights and White Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Presently a one shot but likely to be developed further at some point.
> 
> Author’s disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The characters I write about are based off of real people but are by no means intended to represent real people; the personalities I write are inferred from public personas and should not be taken as accurate portrayals of their real world counterparts.
> 
> I’ve been around enough to see people confusing fiction with reality, so before you read my story, I implore you to recognize these as characters, not celebrities. Please don’t project what you read in stories onto real people. Please respect real people.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy my fic.

Junhui’s happy. It doesn’t hurt at all, sitting in the crowd looking up at his best friend as he accepts an award, a big smile stretched across his face as he moves to give his speech into the microphone. Why would that hurt? It doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t hurt anyway. It’s just terrifying.

Not for a second has Junhui thought Minghao would change with his success. He knows that Minghao will always be Minghao - humble, beautiful, perfect Minghao. However, Junhui has thought multiple times that Minghao is now officially out of his league. The singer doesn’t pick the secretary in the movies, and childhood friends stop being suitable love interests when they grow up.

Junhui missed his shot when they were in school, and that’s just one of the many truths of the world that he has to live with, right along with gravity makes things fall down and humans can’t fly. But boy, sometimes Junhui’s willing to question that last one. Especially when Minghao comes over to watch movies and they share a bowl of popcorn, their fingers brushing when they both reach in at the same time, or when Minghao falls asleep halfway through, his head resting against Junhui’s arm. Junhui would swear that he could soar in those moments.

But that’s what Minghao does to him, makes him feel like he could do anything, like he’s invincible. It’s been like that practically forever, Minghao pushing Junhui forward but staying within arms reach, just in case he needs to catch him. Minghao’s always been both sides of the coin for Junhui, encouraging him when he needs it and grounding him when he stops thinking. He really is the best friend Junhui could have ever asked for.

Applause roars around Junhui and he starts clapping too as Minghao bows and makes his way offstage, heading back to the table to set his award in the center of it and take his seat next to Junhui once again.

“How was it? I wasn’t too proud, was I?” He asks as he straightens his jacket, a nervous habit that Junhui immediately recognizes and has him laying his arm across Minghao’s shoulders, a comforting weight.

Wonwoo scoffs. “You asked like eighty times while you were writing it, I’m not giving you anymore feedback.”

Turning to Junhui, Minghao asks, “What did you think?”

Junhui brings his free hand up to rub at his neck as he says, “I kind of spaced out, sorry. But if you stuck to what you wrote then I’m sure it was great.”

Reaching up with his own hand, Minghao lays his fingers over where Junhui’s are sat on his shoulder, curling around them ever so slightly as he nods and says, “Right. It was a good speech.” His eyes dart back and forth for a moment before he locks onto Junhui again and asks, “Right?”

When Junhui gives a nod of his own and says “Right,” Minghao smiles and wraps his fingers around Junhui’s more firmly, giving a gentle squeeze. Then he faces the stage again, satisfied, and his hand falls away, ready to clap for the other award recipients for the next few hours until the show ends.

Aware of the cameras, Junhui removes his arm from Minghao’s shoulders and drags his own eyes back to the stage. He doesn’t take in what’s going on, though. Instead, with his heart hammering against his ribs and his fingers still buzzing from the lost contact, Junhui wonders if he’s a bad friend.

It’s not a new thought. In fact, it’s a thought that’s kept him awake a lot of nights, and it’s a thought that he still doesn’t quite have an answer to. Junhui thinks he should be able to get over his crush, but feelings are feelings, uncontrollable and fluid, so Junhui can’t simply make his feelings for Minghao go away or stop. The best that he can do is keep them to himself and hope they pass.

They haven’t passed in over five years, but all that means is he’ll just have to keep waiting until they do. Whether it’s another five years, ten, or forty.

After all, Junhui’s always been right here, so if Minghao wanted him then he would have said something by now. But Minghao could have anyone he wanted. It was true back in high school and college, and it’s still true in the present. Why would he want Junhui when he could have the cheer captain, the valedictorian, or the model?

It’s fine, though. Junhui will always be happy as long as he gets to stay by Minghao’s side. He’ll be happy to be the best man at Minghao’s wedding. He’ll be happy when Minghao says his vows and drives off with the love of his life, who Junhui is sure will be lovely and someone that he could never imagine disliking on any level. He’ll be happy when Minghao starts the family that he’s always wanted, with kids who will call him uncle Junhui and that he will spoil rotten.

Then, maybe one day, Junhui will find someone for himself to settle down with, to build his own happiness with. And Minghao will be so,  _ so _ happy for him. Junhui will be happy too, and it won’t hurt - and it won’t feel like a lie when he tells himself that.

Something bumps into Junhui’s arm and he turns to face Wonwoo. He looks mildly concerned as he leans in to be heard over the loud music playing around them and asks, “Everything alright?”

Junhui nods vigorously before half-shouting into Wonwoo’s ear, “Just a bit tired!”

The music fades out as Wonwoo slowly pulls back and gives Junhui a disbelieving look, saying, “If you say so.”

It doesn’t matter if Wonwoo notices that Junhui isn’t okay, so he feels fine giving a weak smile and quickly shifting his gaze onto the stage again. He claps with everyone else when the actress holding her new award says her thank yous and walks away from the microphone, but he doesn’t feel it.

Right now, all he feels is the intense urge to be home and curled up in his bed, where he can have these thoughts and not have to worry about how much they hurt. He can cry when he’s alone in his bed, and no one will know. He can’t out his stupid crush or embarrass himself when he’s alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Art is only complete once it has been witnessed. Want to help finish a story? Leave a comment. If you have a thought after reading a fic, tell the author about it. Comments motivate, inspire, and please us immensely - like a cat getting pats. So spread a little goodness, support your fandom authors and leave a comment to let them know you see their work.


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